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"Do not expect too much of marriage, or too little. Water cannot rise above its own level. Your union cannot produce more than you two contribute to it. If you are full of imperfections.. do not imagine.. that by changing your partner a new union will be more successful. Marriage, like all our other relationships in life.. serves to grind the sharp edges off us.. The grinding often hurts, the adjustment to another person's character is difficult at first, that is why love is needed here more than in any other relationship.. To the influence of love.. is gradually added another powerful catalyst: habit.. if love is allowed to fail, habit itself may be strong enough to preserve the union." (Shoghi Effendi) (77:4) ..The Baha'i view is that this involves becoming thoroughly acquainted with both one's own character and that of the proposed partner, so that both can be assured that there is the required maturity on both sides. (78:1) "They must show forth the utmost attention and become informed of one another's character... if the union is merely from the physical point of view unquestionably it is temporal and at the end separation is inevitable. (78:2) "Consequently when the people of Baha desire to enter the sacred union of marriage, eternal connection and ideal relationship, spiritual and physical association of thoughts and conceptions of life must exist between them." ('Abdul-Baha) (78:3) "Anybody can be happy in the state of comfort, ease, health, success, pleasure and joy, but if one will be happy and contented in the time of trouble, hardship and prevailing disease, it is the proof of nobility." ('Abdul-Baha)....
(78:5)
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