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This vow clearly emphasizes the wide responsibilities of marriage and that neither partner is subject to the other but that both will strive to follow a much higher law. If the marriage requires a second ceremony, because of the requirements of the local government, or because on partner is not a Baha'i, then both ceremonies must take place on the same day. The legally recognized ceremony must be first. (81:1) It is not necessary for the couple to be Baha'is to have a Baha'i marriage.. Although the following passage, attributed to 'Abdul-Baha, is not authenticated, it does capture the spirit of what is meant by the Baha'i concept of marriage: (81:2) "The bond that unifies hearts most perfectly is loyalty. True lovers once united must show forth the utmost faithfulness one to another.. (81:4) Allow no trace of jealousy to creep between you, for jealousy, like unto poison, vitiates the very essence of love. Let not the ephemeral incidents and accidents of this changeful life cause a rift between you. When differences present themselves, take counsel together in secret, lest others magnify a speck into a mountain. Harbour not in your hearts any grievance, but rather explain its nature to each other with such frankness and understanding that it will disappear, leaving no remembrance. Choose fellowship and amity and turn away from jealousy and hypocrisy. (81:5) Your thoughts must be lofty, your ideals luminous, your minds spiritual, so that your souls may become dawning-place for the Sun of Reality..
(81:6)
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