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There are those who maintain that pre-marital sex is necessary to determine whether or not a man and a woman are compatible. This point of view overlooks the fact that true marriage is a spiritual union and that if a couple have really discovered each other's character and love what they see, then sex cannot be a fundamental problem. If they love each other and there should turn out to be sexual difficulty after marriage, which is unlikely, then they will wish to solve the problem together in tenderness and love, with, if necessary, medical help. If they do not love each other, then pre-marital sex is not going to make any difference and to base a marriage on any sexual pleasure which may be found before marriage is to invite disaster. Furthermore, indulgence in pre-marital sex on these grounds will surely take away some of the beauty from marriage: there will be, even if subconsciously, a devaluation of the marriage itself, perhaps a sense of hypocrisy, and a feeling of having started the marriage on less than the highest ideal. (84:2) ..One of the most unpleasant side effects of the polygamous philosophy is that it almost inevitably leads to comparisons, with the partners having developed different levels of sexual expectation and appetite. Then, indeed, there is likely to be a problem of incompatibility. The argument confuses intimate love between man and woman, which is both spiritual and physical, with the purely spiritual love which should exist between all mankind. The greater number a man loves the first way the poorer he is; the more the second way the richer he will be..
(84:3)
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