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..the responsibility (in marriage) is not only the normally-accepted one of a parent protecting and educating another innocent and defenseless human being, but one of helping to raise up a new race of men and women on whom depends future world society. (87:1) "...It is enjoined upon the father and mother, as a duty, to strive with all effort to train the daughter and the son, to nurse them from the breast of knowledge and to rear them in the bosom of sciences and arts. Should they neglect this matter, they shall be held responsible and worthy of reproach in the presence of the stern Lord (87:2) This is a sin unpardonable, for they have made that poor babe a wanderer in the Sahara of ignorance, unfortunate and tormented; to remain during a lifetime a captive of ignorance and pride, negligent and without discernment." ('Abdul-Baha) (87:3) Baha'i Writings point out that the spiritual and intellectual growth of the child, as well as its physical growth starts in the womb, and that the mother should bear this in mind whilst pregnant. There is the suggestion that the more serene and spiritual is during this time, the better it will be for the baby as well as for herself (87:4) From the time when the baby is born the parents must be ever conscious of their responsibility and their power to influence the character of the child in their care. If their own lives are corrupt and conducted at standards lower than the highest, they must expect that this condition will become a part of the character of their children. In this connection it is worth drawing particular attention to one failing which is so common, that of backbiting.. Children should be brought up in a home where there is warmth of feeling for all people, a sense of reverence for all things, an attitude of prayer to God (87:5) In the early months of a child's life its formal education should begin and there should be applied those two great principles of all education: reward and punishment (88:1) "..That which traineth the world is justice, for it is upheld by two pillars, reward and punishment. These two pillars are the sources of life to the world." (Baha'u'llah) (88:2) This implies love hand-in-hand with a constant firmness right from the beginning.. Such firmness should be consistent between both parents. A child quickly learns to exploit a situation in which one parent contradicts the firmness of the other with an attitude of weakness.. If these principles are applied early enough there should be no need for physical chastisement. Should stern measures in fact have to be taken, they should never reach the point of physical beating or tongue-lashing as such punishments would soon make a child hate his own home. Essentially, however, the emphasis should be on the positive. A properly educated child will receive more praise for the things he does well than chastisement for the things he should not do (88:3) In Baha'i teachings there is no compromise on the role of the parents. All members of the family have rights as human beings and part of the right of parents is their authority which comes from their greater experience and maturity. That authority is most easily held if they have the respect of their children which, it is suggested, rests on at least two requisites. First, the parents must practise what they preach. How many millions of parents have forbidden smoking and drinking to their children and openly consume such drugs themselves. Double talk is one of the most effective ways of undermining a child's sense of values. Secondly, they must teach constantly what is reasonable and just. This does not mean that it is necessary to have a long discussion each time there is a point at issue; on the contrary, the child should learn soon to take on trust, from experience, the reasonableness of the parents's position. When a child is treated with justice and empathy, he can confide in his parents without fear, and the barriers between generations will not arise.
(88:4)
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